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Jun. 21st, 2006 @ 10:04 am (no subject)
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enough hurt
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how i'm feeling: melancholy
cause you can sense what has been lost
cause you can sense what is at stake
Mar. 1st, 2006 @ 02:40 pm fleeing thought
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: tired
i cannot wait until i can turn my cell phone off at night. i cannot wait till i can go to sleep at night without subconciously having to listen for a ringing phone or knock on my door. i can just relax and sleep.

that sounds like bliss.
Feb. 15th, 2006 @ 04:53 pm *jumps on the bandwagon*
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PVP - WoW
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how i'm feeling: curious
i decided to leave this entry public. hopefully no one in the general public will act like douches, or i'll lock it down.

clicky clicky. follow the directions and be honest =)

johari

i'll edit this entry later to include the negative attributes link later tonight

edit:

and the negative one, the nohari:

clicky click
Feb. 8th, 2006 @ 01:52 pm new favorite poem
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: groggy
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i believe i have a new favorite poem...

we are liars, because
the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,
whereas letters are fixed
and we live by the letter of truth.
the love i feel for my friend, this year,
is different from the love i felt last year.
if it were not so, it would be a lie.
yet we reiterate love! love! love!
as if it were a coin with a fixed value
instead of a flower that dies,
and opens a different bud.


dh lawrence, "lies about love"
Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 02:15 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: curious
listening to: ani - animal
Tags: ,
i've started reading al franken's new book "the truth, with jokes." so far it's pretty good---i liked "lying liars" better, but that's probably because it displayed much more franken humor. this book is definitely more truth than jokes, and once the reader gets over the expectation to be reading another "lying lairs," it pretty much cruises.

the reason i write about it--everyone who knows me knows i went into a deep political funk after the 2004 election. it continues today. i still read about issues, especially those important to me, i still get angry, i yell at the tv occassionally..but i just am not as passionate as i once was. i guess i am (was?) simply spent after that election.

what i love about "the truth"...first, it IS the truth. franken does not hero-worship kerry, but does debunk key republican smear tactics and he systematically explains how rove won bush the white house again. he also debunks the "mandate" claim (THANK THE F-IN LORD). it serves as a factual guide into what to expect from the republican spin/lie machine in future elections by providing a guide to the 2004 election tactics. sure, it has its occassionaly pundit characteristics, which, for franken usually means pundit-humor, but as i stated before.. well, franken's simply gotten serious. i believe he's as fed up, as crushed, and as...AAAHHH as the rest of us.

second, it's started inflaming my passion again. i'm starting to get angry again. i've left my little "blah" bubble and i'm starting to feel that fury at the bush white house and the republican congress. the nice thing, of course, is that this happens in just enough time to allow me to somehow volunteer for the midterm elections that are coming up. i will have left my job by then and will once again have -gasp- freedom and free time to volunteer in some form.

what i think i love most about this book so far (im 50 pages(?) in)...is that it's facts tempered with anger and humor in an appropriate balance. part of the democrat's problem is that they are *too* angry at bush, much like the repulicans were *too* angry at clinton. instead of forming logical, well-stated opinions on bush policies and developing an effective counter to the republican spin tactics and media machine, they simply sputter out of sheer anger at bush's bullshit. even now, the dems have issues forming coherent ideological arguements and political tactics. they are still seeming to run scared from the repubs. franken tempers his anger (and his humor) and has apparently written a book that just lays bare a factual counter-arguement to the republican's lies in the 2004 election.

too bad it's just a year to year and a half too late.


i'm curious as to what the rest of the book will bring.


"yes and i think when you grow up surrounded
by willful ignorance
you have to believe that mercy has its own country
and that it's round and borderless
and then you have to grow wings
and rise above it all...

ask any ecosystem
harm here
is harm there and there and there and there
and aggression begets aggression
it's a very simple lesson
that long preceded any king of heaven
and there's this brutal imperial power
that my passport says i represent
but it will never represent where my heart lives
only vaguely where it went..."
Jan. 8th, 2006 @ 11:19 pm ahahahaha
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: amused
if you haven't moused over "kurt halsey fredricksen" on www.kurthalsey.com, go do it now. too funny =)


kurt rocks =)
Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 03:26 pm if only this shit was made up
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: amused
Tags:
Top 10 Funniest Bushisms

The Top 10 Funniest (and Saddest) Mistakes, Misstatements, Bloopers and Blunders By President George W. Bush (so far...)


1. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport" - Washington, DC October 3, 2001

2. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNS aren't able to practice their love with these women across the country." Poplar Bluff, September 6, 2004.

3. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." Washington DC, August 5, 2004

4. "There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."

5. "There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)...Shame on...(4 second pause)...Shame on you...(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't get fooled again." Nashville, Tennessee, September 17, 2002. [I really, really wanna see a video of that one. That has to be fruckin hysterical.]

6. "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." Milwaukee, Wisconsin, October 3, 2003

7. "The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the---the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." Washington, DC, October 27, 2003.

8. "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." on visiting Denmark, Washington, DC, June 29, 2005

9. "Wow! Brazil is big!" after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Basilia, Brazil, November 6, 2005.

10. Tie between:

"Rarely is the question asked, 'Is our children learning'?" Florence, SC, January 11, 2000
and
"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling." Washington DC, January 23, 2004.
Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 12:28 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/07/19/iraq.bodycount.reut/index.html

can they really claim that Iraq is better off now? sure, saddam was a horrible man. but it doesn't appear that things are much better...

*sigh*
Jun. 9th, 2005 @ 11:23 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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typing is hard and it hurts (i either broke my finger or jammed it VERY badly)...but oh well =)

oh lord, i have made you a place in my heart
among the rags and the bones and the dirt
there's piles of lies,
the love gone from her eyes,
and old moving boxes full of hurt.
pull up a chair by the trouble and care.
i got whiskey, you're welcome to some.
oh lord, i have made you a place in my heart,
but i don't reckon you're gonna come.

i've tried to fix up the place,
i know it's a disgrace
you get used to it after a while--
with the flood and the drought
and old pals hangin out
with their IOU's and their smiles.
bare naked women keep comin in
and they dance like you wouldn't believe.
oh lord, i have made you a place in my heart,
so take a good look---and then leave

oh lord, why does the cold get colder each year?
lord, why can't i learn to love?
lord, if you made me, then it's easy to see
that you all make mistakes up above.
but if i open the door, you will know i'm poor
and my secrets are all that i own.
oh lord, i have made you a place in my heart
and i hope that you leave it alone.

(found the song via an ani boot--tis by greg brown. she sings slightly different lyrics than the above. great song...just kinda fitting for tonight *shrug*)
May. 3rd, 2005 @ 05:32 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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i have a free hour on friday morning, so i decided to schedule time in for me to fucking LOSE MY MIND.

/breakdown & lame humor
Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 12:06 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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pop died yesterday morning.

more later, but let's just say that saturday was an ugly day.

going to florida late. sucks. but i guess at least i get a part of my vaca with ken and his family.

despite it all, it was actually an ok weekend...more about that later, too.

but now, i need to take a shower and start laundry and cleaning.

<3
Mar. 24th, 2005 @ 10:30 am (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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and so it is...
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time.
---
i need to get my damien rice CD at lunch.

mom told me last night that pop was too weak to get out of bed yesterday.

and so it has begun.
Mar. 16th, 2005 @ 03:59 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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how i'm feeling: drained
update time...

pop is really sick. the doctors said he had a few weeks left...and that was almost two weeks ago. went to see him yesterday....not good. heartbreaking really.

i'm trying to decide which is/was "better" (better being a relative term)....watching my grammy slowly die, helping to take care of her...but seeing that process. god, it was hard. and i don't ever want to go through that again. but i've found it's equally difficult, if not more so, to be a good distance away and only see what's going on every few weeks. the stark reality every time you see him for a few hours...i think i almost prefer the experience with grammy. at least i got to see that process play out, i had ample time to say goodbye and i knew when it was coming (trust me...christmas day...we knew it was just a matter of hours. you could just tell by looking at her). but him...i mean, he could get an infection and be gone pretty quickly. or it could be a week, two weeks, a month...and i'm not there so see him, to talk to him, to see him for myself. it's hard to explain. i....i'm just at a loss.

but on to more positive notes (a lot of which will be put in a friends-only entry)...

ken got me the rise print by kurt...framed. seriously, outside of duffy, possibly the best gift ever. just the random surprise...i was shocked. shocked, i say! and speechless, which im sure he no doubt enjoyed. =)

floridain 13 days. if, of course, pop doesn't pass away. in which case, we'll need a substitute laura to go with ken and his mom and sis to florida. heh.

more in a friends only...


love.
la.
Feb. 18th, 2005 @ 06:20 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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holy shit! i know (and by know i mean chatted with a few times) a guy that's on survivor this season. he's a cool kid, totally.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor10/survivors/bio/ian.shtml

GO IAN! PSU representin :D
Feb. 18th, 2005 @ 01:14 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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just wanted to share this little helper...it basically tells you how long it will take you to pay off a credit card balance and how much total interest you would pay...

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/calc/MinPayment.asp
Feb. 14th, 2005 @ 12:30 am (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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until tonight, i hadn't listened to chantal kreviazuk's "feels like home" for many many years. i <3 it.

either it or "the luckiest" will be my wedding song.
Feb. 10th, 2005 @ 07:50 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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this battle isn't something i'm used to, the rollercoaster and the sinking spirits. grammy went so quickly. it was so hard to take and watch, but at the same time...while i know she suffered, it wasn't long. but this back and forth with pop, watching his spirits sink lower and lower as he struggles just to breathe...part of me is almost glad i'm down here in maryland and not up there. and i'm such a horrible person for thinking that. but i was there, i took care of my grammy as she died. i saw it, i smelled it, i heard it, i felt it... i don't think i could take that again. it's hard enough seeing him skinnier and skinnier every few weeks, it's hard hearing him struggle for breath. it brings back the image of grammy's sunken, skeletal face, that haunting look in the day before she died. i just don't know, there aren't even words. i hate cancer. i hate my mom's god (he sure isn't mine) for doing this to her and to him. i hate what he's going through. it's not fair. such a kind, gentle, sweet, compassionate man should not have the last year or two of his life be like the ones he's had. he's not even on chemo anymore, he shouldn't be struggling to breathe anymore. and it's scary that they don't know why he's having so many problems.

pop was admitted to the hospital today (again) with congestive heart failure.
Feb. 7th, 2005 @ 05:23 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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two posts in one day. this one coming because i'm attempting to "get rid" of some books.

i have a number of books listed on amazon. i am willing to sell at a discounted price all books listed on amazon for $3 or more. all books priced at $3 or less will be sold at listed price. shipping costs are extra. below is a link to my inventory (my seller name is lbmiller4). email me at laurabmiller@gmail.com if there are any books which interest you.

thanks =)

la


Amazon Book Listing
Feb. 7th, 2005 @ 11:50 am (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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i figured it's been over a month, i should update.

first, i fully intend next week to make my journal friends-only, complete with the cute banner shanna made me eons ago. why next week? cause i have a week off from...

my classes. i'm back to school full time. and it's killing me. but alas. it's interesting stuff, there's just an incredible amount of work. some weeks i'll easily spend 30 hours on school work, if not more. so i don't have much of a life.

but! i am going on VACATION at the end of march into early april. yayayayayayayay! my first vacation in years. i'm so excited. ken's mom invited me along on their family vaca to florida. she got a time share for free for 3 nights in orlando, two nights in st petersburg, and then we're going on a two-day cruise out of ft. lauderdale. i'm so excited. though it's going to be a huge financial squeeze for me. so i'm saving ever damn penny i got. a week and a half off from work. heaven.

pop's not doin so well. hopefully he'll hang in there. they took him off the chemo about two months ago hoping his breathing would improve, but it hasn't. they don't know why. i'll get to see him in two weeks when i go home to try on bridesmaid dresses for clairebear's wedding.

=)

so that's the basics of life right now. catch up more later.
Dec. 15th, 2004 @ 05:20 pm (no subject)
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ani sitting black
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spreadin the love =)

1. Reply to this post because I would like to say a couple words about you. (I'm not promising to be nice!!)
2. I will also tell you what song(s) remind me of you when I hear it.
3. I will also tell you what celebrity/public person you remind me of, either personality-wise or looks-wise.
4. I will also give ONE WORD that I associate with you when I think of you.